Tears in the Check out Line

These little cakes had my eyes watering in the check out line the other day. Now I know your thinking Little Debbie snacks are good, but thats a little over the top to be nearly crying over them, right?! Well I was almost brought to tears not because they are so good (because they aren't), but because they remind me of my great grandma.

Imagine John and I standing in the check out line talking, having a great day. I look up and see these cakes on an end base and immediately there is a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. These little cakes have brought my gram to the front of my thoughts and made my heart ache just a little as I miss her more then words can express.

My grandma lived across the street from us when I was a teenager. We would go to grams everyday for nothing more then a hug and a treat. Gram always had boxes of these Little Debbie snack cakes and fun size candy bars that were readily available for us. I don't really like the cakes that much, but if you put them in the freezer they aren't to bad. Between my siblings and I, I think I probably spent the most time with gram. I checked on her everyday and loved sitting with her while she watched cheesy afternoon talk shows and napped in her chair. She would tell me stories. They weren't anything spectacular, just life stories and I loved them. I would pull out all of grams pictures and she would tell me who everyone was and stories about them. Gram's was where I always ran when I was upset with mom and dad. She never had earth shattering advice, but she always listened and often tried to reprimand my dad. That never really worked though because my dad was her "little Scotty". I don't think Gram loved anyone the way she loved her "little Scotty". Even at 80 years old she would try to get my dad to sit on her lap. When I had Hayley my dad was in for some serious competition. Gram loved Hayley so much. She really enjoyed just watching Hayley play. Hayley loved to boss gram (their roles were kind of reversed) and gram would laugh and let Hayley tell her what to do. Even when gram moved into assisted living (I happened to work there so I spent lots of time with her) she still watched Hayley. I worked grave yard and John worked days so he would bring Hayley at 6am and Hayley would go up to grams room and play legos, boss gram, and watch cartoons. Gram looked forward to Hayley coming every morning. Gram always made us laugh with her crazy antics and the "swirl fry" and she drove us nuts from time to time with her stubborn nature. The bottom line is that my gram was simply my gram, she loved us and we loved her. Broke my heart the day she passed away and a little part of me went with her. She was my friend and I miss having her to sit with and talk to. I really miss the way she would laugh at us like we were crazy when we would try to tell her what she needed to do.

Gram always told us that she would "be sitting on the stairs to heaven waiting for all of us". Just a couple weeks ago Hayley asked me if I thought grandma was still waiting... Really pulled at my heart strings and all I could say was "I really hope so".

I realize this post is a mess, but so are my thoughts when I think about my grandma... I just have so many memories that it's hard to stay focused, so bear with me and my random babbling.